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No blame method

 Last year, I did an internship at a primary school in Belgium, where I was a care coordinator. A care coordinator (zorgcoördinator) in Belgium is a person in a school who helps students who have learning or emotional difficulties. They make sure every child gets the support they need to do well in school.

A care coordinator does not teach, but they organize help so that every child gets the best chance to succeed. When someone in school gets bullied it's also the job of the care coordinator to help the person who gets bullied. In the school where I did my internship we used the no-blame method. 

The non-blame method is a non-confrontational method that can be used when: 

  • The bullying is recent and not sever
  • The bully has little support
  • Strong belief in group power
  • Facilitators support this approach

The  no blame method exist of 7 steps:

  1. Talk to the Victim – Focus on their feelings, not the facts. Get permission to form a support group.
  2. Gather a Group – Invite students to help solve a problem without naming the victim.
  3. Explain the Problem – Express concern, share emotions, and encourage empathy.
  4. Share Responsibility – Make it clear that the goal is to help, not punish.
  5. Ask for Solutions – Each member suggests a small action to support the victim.
  6. Trust the Group – No written agreements, just a shared commitment to improvement.
  7. Follow Up – Check in individually with each member and the victim to assess progress

The goal is not punishment but positive change through group responsibility.

Stichting Stop Pesten Nu. (2020). No Blame voor het jeugdwerk – Pak pesten aan in 7 stappen. Retrieved on March 11 2025, van https://www.stoppestennu.nl/sites/default/files/uploads/no_blame_voor_het_jeugdwerk_-_pak_pesten_aan_in_7_stappen_2020.pdf

I think the No Blame method can be very powerful when bullying is not yet severe or deeply rooted. What I find particularly strong about this approach is that the bully is invited to help find a solution without being labeled or blamed. Instead of focusing on punishment, the method encourages empathy and shared responsibility, which can lead to more lasting change.

I truly believe that when children actively participate in finding a solution, they are more likely to follow through and make a real difference. The No Blame approach shifts the focus from blame to collaboration, which not only helps the victim but also gives the bully a chance to change their behavior without feeling attacked.

Another key strength of this method is that it involves the whole group, even those who were not directly involved in the bullying. This creates a sense of community and shared responsibility, making the group itself a safer and more inclusive environment. When bystanders become part of the solution, they are less likely to stay passive in future situations.

Of course, this method is not a one-size-fits-all solution. If bullying is severe or persistent, stronger interventions may be needed. However, in many cases, the No Blame method can be a powerful way to stop bullying before it escalates, while also fostering emotional intelligence and problem-solving skills among children.

- Hannah Nys

Comments

  1. Tirza SchefferMarch 24, 2025 at 12:51 PM

    I haven't heard of this approach before, so it was interesting to read! I like that it focuses on group responsibility rather than punishment. It makes sense that involving the whole group could shift the dynamic and help prevent further bullying. And yes I agree it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution, but for early intervention, it seems useful. Did you see any challenges with this method during your internship? :)

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